That is a concept that I never knew existed.

My existence was always looking for satisfaction outside myself as to me as the normal thing to do. Isn’t it the way we achieve happiness? Ticking all those boxes that are given to us like career, relationship, money, family, status and all the rest?

Everybody I knew lived that way and I didn’t want to be different or weird although I felt like that many times.

Especially when we are young we desperately want to fit in and not be perceived as odd. Why would we go for a dream job if everybody else was choosing a profitable career? Why do we need to be that special? Just do what everybody is doing, jump on that hamster wheel!

We learn to conform and we are bombarded thousand times a day about the way we should be, how we should look like, what to eat, wear, to keep up with Jones’s and so on.

Being since early age in this frenetic search to fit in is like wearing a straight jacket. We’re trapped in this very limited structure that if we’re lucky enough to fit in, it might feel good for some time but it’s pretty exhausting so it’s not really sustainable.

How to get out of this hamster wheel then?

Be quiet.

Listen.

It’s not so easy to eliminate the noise and all distractions in order to find out what makes our hearts sing and what ours souls are craving for.

Most of the time is connections and fulfillment and those can come in different forms.

I myself crave meaningful connections and keeping my actions aligned with my values support me in this quest.

It is a learning curve and I’m getting better at it all the time specially the fundamental part of loving myself which is where everything else comes from really. Before we develop this deep self love and respect for ourselves, we will keep falling into this straight jacket that might look pretty from the outside but it’s a pretty miserable way of living.

Self love provides us with assertiveness and a conviction that it’s ok to say no and to choose us. We don’t need to settle for an ok life or be someone we are not. Loving ourselves keep us free of the straight jacket and makes us feel comfortable with who we really are.

Being comfortable in our own skin is the way to have real connections because we don’t need to pretend to be anyone else and people who love us will be OK with that.

Those who will get disappointed with our actions, shouldn’t bother us because they don’t really matter in our lives anyway.