Dear Reflection

I am so sorry I used to be a bully all the time and not even consider your young and tender heart. At early age you already had to put up with this mean voice inside your head stopping you from taking more risks, being more visible and hiding you from yourself really.

I know your mom used to speak with you like that but hey, this was a long time ago and you knew even back then that she had issues herself and just couldn’t express kindness.

For a very long time I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror. All I saw was an image of someone who used to wear a beautiful smile wherever she went. What happened? I couldn’t find one single reason. Was it the fact that your life looked perfect from the outside but was actually miserable? Or was it a failure mom syndrome? Maybe the reason was that you had to restart your life so many times and you felt tired and disconnected. No, I couldn’t pick one reason, I just din’t like you reflection and I’m sorry.

It had been such a long journey for us and I’m so grateful that you learned that compassion starts with ourselves. Who would have thought?

I know you feel a bit scared right now about restarting again but remember when you did that with a 4 year old and no prospects whatsoever? You’re wiser now and not to forget, so much kinder.

You go girl and listen to me, I’ll be here with all the love you need. Right here. Always.